Okay, so full disclosure, this is my first post and I have no idea what I’m doing here. I love reading people’s blogs and watching their YouTube channels and seeing so many creative people express themselves in so many different ways. When people share their unique experiences with the world, I get weirdly emotional and filled with hope for the future (odd for me). However, when it comes to sharing my own perspective, I feel clunky, scattered, narcissistic and self-indulgent.
It’s not just the fact that I’m an “older millennial,” whatever that is. Maybe someone who is just young enough to hop on the Snapchat train but who has to Google “social media sites” to find out how kids are connecting these days. Regardless, I’ve always been shy about sharing too much online. This partly goes back to how I was raised, but I’ve also read 1984. I’m no fool. Nobody in the world except me needs to know what I’m thinking and doing all of the time.
There’s also this old-fashioned voice in my head – let’s call her Prudence – that enjoys saying mean things to me. When it came to writing this blog, Prudence was very vocal. “You have no experience with this. Nobody cares about what’s going on in your mind. We all have opinions. You’re not special. So quit being so dippy and get on with the drudgery of life like the rest of us.” Prudence is subversive, persuasive, and really, really rude. Unfortunately, I think a lot of people, women in particular, have their own versions of Prudence talking away in their heads most of the time. She doesn’t smile, has an angry, mirthless laugh, likes to ruin hopes and dreams, and wants everyone to be as miserable as she is, all under the guise of helpfulness.
The problem with that chatty old curmudgeon’s advice is that I enjoy writing, which necessarily means that I take all of the thoughts and opinions swirling around in my head and pour them out onto paper for others to read. I can’t write anything if I believe my thoughts have no value. Also, I resent the idea of getting on with the drudgery of life! Who are you, Prudence, to tell me my life has to be this awful, dull thing that I have to wade through? Why do I have to hate what I do every day to be contributing something to the world? I refuse.
So, that said, I’m starting a blog. Which is probably already passe, but whatever. I love to write, and I have things to say. Whether anyone cares or reads any of this stuff is out of my control anyway – I just have to do my part, despite the fact that I may not know exactly what I’m doing. I’ll figure it out along the way, as I generally do.
So suck on that, Prudence.
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